Elbow Deep in Poo

The Octopus SuperMom

2010-11-18T20:59:00.002-05:00

I see you guys everytime I drop my kids off at preschool. Moms of 3 or 4 year olds, struggling to hold little hands, totebags, diaper bags, purses, school snacks, craft projects and often pushing a stroller or carrying a baby to boot. Let me let you in on a little secret. A secret that having a 3rd child, while my oldest was only 4, and my middle was almost 3, has taught me. They can do it themselves. They will do it themselves, if you let them. They SHOULD do it themselves. Now I'm not talking about Moms of two year olds. Two year olds can't be trusted. They are a menace, especially in a parking lot. But that 3 or 4 year old can carry her school bag, or put on his coat, or wait to spill their craft projects everywhere. By all means, hold onto those little hands, especially in the parking lot. But let them help you out. You don't have to do it all. I'm just sayin.

Nine Months and Irritable

2010-02-10T11:04:00.007-05:00

Warning: The following is a discussion, (ok its at least partly a rant), on breastfeeding. I have no desire to be nor intention of being "delicate".

Full Disclosure: I am nine months pregnant with my 3rd child. (Read: CRANKY!) I am not "trained" in a schooling sense in the following subject matter. I am simply someone who's been doing it nearly nonstop for 4.5 years, with a few more to go.

I was lucky. For one, my first child was a nursing addict, and always hungry. It forced fast learning. For two, I had sisters who had done this before and were right there on either side of me when he was born. Someone asked if I wanted to nurse him, and I looked at them and said, "I don't know what to do..." and they made it happen. It helps when there are TWO sisters. One handled my breast, the other handled my son and poof! Just like magic, he was latched on and content. It made the hurdle into Dairy Cow Land much much easier.

I let my kids self wean, so I've been doing this for a long time. It means I've hit a lot of bumps and bruises. I've always found that other nursing moms are the best resources for tips and tricks and solutions to problems. Which brings me to my current rage.

My friend recently gave birth to her second child. She did not nurse her first and is determined to make it happen for the second, even tho he's a preemie. When she found herself in pain, and still well within the "postpartum" period, she called her OB, who promptly brushed her off as not having a "real" problem. So she contacted a lactation consultant, who diagnosed her with yeast, but can't prescribe medication. The consultant recommended a medicine and dose that the OB won't prescribe because they don't believe she needs that med at that high a dose. Between my friend's arguing experts she remains in pain and confused. Enter a second lactation consultant, who at least had the sense to check on the baby's latch, which seems to be ok for his preemie age. My friend is sent to a breast surgeon, who she described as "hearing aid old". He informs her, (I almost can't type this it makes me so angry), that there is no such thing as a yeast infection of the breast AND that since the baby is 6 weeks old, (which, BTW, does not yet take him to his due date), that he has gotten all the benefits that he possibly can from breastmilk, so she should just quit. Insert rage here.

So now my friend is udderly confused, (pun intended), and I am noticing that she doesn't seem ok. I don't want to pry, but I decided to put out some feelers and see if I could help. She fills me in on the story and it just doesn't seem like anyone evaluated all the possibilities here. When you have a first time nursing mom in pain, there are a few basic reasons to look into. Each "expert" looked at one or another, but no one went through the whole process with her. Not even the lactation consultants.

We get to chatting and I tell her about the problems I had and how I fixed them. I also told her, and I realize that no one ever says this, but they should, that it does hurt. Especially when you are first starting, and especially if you are doing a lot of pumping, (which you do when you have a preemie). This particular issue really bugs me. I see leaflets all the time spelling out all the benefits of breastfeeding, but no one ever talks about the pitfalls. I get that they don't want to scare people away from trying, but all the women I know who consider their nursing experience a failure were misinformed about what to expect on the con side of things. They all tell me that if they had known what they were experiencing was normal, they wouldn't have quit. We are not stupid. Paint us a complete picture!

Then I asked an innocent question. I asked if she was "lubing up" before she pumped. She had no idea what I was talking about. I cannot describe the shock I experienced when I realized that she had a hospital birth, with a lactation consultant on staff, hired two of them herself, is renting her pump from the hospital, and none of them presented her with a lanolin based nipple cream, (technically not a cream at all, but that's what people call it). I just can't believe they could all miss something so simple, and so necessary. How is this possible?

Now I lived off of this stuff. I just assumed that I was particularly sensitive, as everyone claimed that if you did it right it didn't hurt. Bull. It hurts, unless you spend your evenings hanging irons from them, your nipples are not used to this level of attention, especially the friction. It takes some getting used to. I remember being so sore that I couldn't bear putting the stuff on, and my lactation consultant showed me how to put it on my breast pad instead and then wear the pad. Such a simple little thing that provided SO MUCH RELIEF!!!

I decided right then and there that I would just have to bring her some, right now. The snowstorm of the century had begun, but she's not far away and there's a drugstore on the way. The thought of going through all that nursing and pumping and struggling COMPLETELY DRY was just too much. And MaryLou, my 14 year old Saturn with the squeaky belt, had always served me well. True to form, she got me to the drugstore, and my friends house, and home unscathed.

I feel much better knowing that right now, while we are all snowed in, at least my friend had a tube of relief in her possession. I realize there's no telling if that's the sole cause of her pain, but I guarantee you its a good portion.

So who is to blame? How do we fix this gap in postpartum mom's care? I don't know. For the first six weeks after you have a baby, you are really under the care of your OB. Are OB's trained in breastfeeding pitfalls and problems? If you develop a problem outside of six weeks postpartum, do you see your GP? Are they trained? I realize lactation consultants are trained to support breastfeeding, and breast health is a definite part of that, but since they cannot prescribe meds when needed, and they are often not covered by insurance, where does that leave mom? Midwives might be the answer, but they too are often not covered by insurance, or readily available in most areas. I suppose this is where La Leche League tries to fill the gap, and having a network of moms who have been there before certainly works, but that doesn't seem sufficient in today's world.

The Big Room Share... Again

2010-01-05T16:23:00.004-05:00

The whole take-a-nap-while-within-arm's-reach-of-your-sibling thing is not going well. Most of the time, if they sleep, its a very late nap. So far, that's not really disturbing bedtime too much, but most of the time, someone's not napping, usually the littler someone. And she needs it. When she doesn't take a nap at nap time, she either falls asleep on the floor just before dinner, (usually naked and covered in toys), or her behavior deteriorates to such a level that she can't survive dinner and has to go to bed. If the bigger one doesn't sleep, (and he's the one who wants too), his behavior goes to a destructive place. It's absolutely maddening when neither one of them sleep. The thing is, they are having a really great time playing together, until the dinner hour, when it all goes to... well... you know where.

I figure I have 2 options. Option #1: Continue to fight the good fight. I am trying, for 2 weeks, to scatter the naps. No more napping at the same time. If I can get LJ to fall asleep, (and she does get tired earlier), then I am sure RF would happily and quietly climb into bed and drift off to la la land. Unfortunately, LJ didn't co-operate today. I ended up separating them after 1.5 hrs of struggle, and that worked like a charm. Too bad RF is sleeping in MY bed. I think that may cause a secondary issue, but I'm hopefully that I won't give it the chance. If this fails, then I think it's on to Option #2: Mourn the loss of nap time. Now, I'm sure over time, their behavior will improve, and they will adjust to the new schedule. I could even convince myself that I could make that all happen before the baby comes. The hard part is that, without a nap, and considering that we have to be up by 7 for preschool, they would have to go to bed by 6. While I would just love to be child free by 6pm, and get so much more done, (and have baby and me time when the baby comes), my children will never get to see Daddy! That's no good for anyone. So... wish me luck!

The Big Room Share

2009-12-13T18:59:00.006-05:00

Maybe we are trying to do too many things at once. Who really knows? I've decided, with Baby #3 coming in a few short months, that the 4 yo boy and the 3 yo girl should share a room ASAP. My thinking is multi layered. First, I need the crib for the baby. Second, LJ is old enough for a toddler bed. Third, RF and LJ are only 19 months apart. So the way I see it, she should move in with him, as he has the bigger room, as soon as is humanly possible, so that they can learn how to room share and sleep at the same time, hopefully before the sleeplessness of new baby arrives. True, Baby Kangaroo will sleep in our room for at least 6 months, but I want LJ to "forget" that the little room is "hers". I'm trying to avoid her being displaced. Of course, in a few short years, if we are still in this house, one of them will be moving again. Depends on which variety of baby we get!

The kids were all for the idea. In fact, they wanted to share a room AND a bed. I nixed that idea pretty quickly. Got a bed. Check! Built the bed. Check! Moved all of LJ's things into the middle room. Check! So here goes nothing...

Day 1: Naptime
Ummm... Not going to happen. While I did not expect them to be able to lay down, LJ with the new found freedom of a toddler bed especially, and just quietly go to bed, I was also really irritable about the whole thing, probably because I am too pregnant to spend all morning building a toddler bed with no instructions and missing hardware! Still, I thought it best to take the opportunity to remove every single toy from the room. Oh well, at least they will be very very tired come bedtime.

Day 1: Bedtime
Its more than 2 hours before bedtime, and LJ's doing the I-can't-keep-my-eyes-open-head-nod while I read stories. I thought it was pretty important that she climb into that bed awake, so I whisked her off. We both squeezed in and sang a song, and I told her I would come back to check on her in 15 minutes. She was out cold right away. RF had no problem quietly hopping into bed and nodding off as well. But let's not go counting any poultry just yet.

Day 2: Naptime
Everyone is pretty tired. Its a Saturday and Daddy's home. These two things should make life a little easier. I tuck them both in, explain what I expect of them, and with only one or two reminders that its quiet time, they both sleep for a good 2 hours. Excellent!

Day 2: Bedtime
We all get ready together. We make a big deal of the big girl bed, and things go pretty well. There's the usual "Mommy I need..." nonsense, but all in all, not too shabby. I am starting to feel like a success. This feeling will likely be my downfall...

Day 3: Naptime
See Day 1: Naptime, only this time I had high expectations and other things to do. Two hours of constant reminders of quiet and revoking of privileges and attempts to not completely loose my head. All to no avail, except that our afternoon plans were now cancelled. Sorry Chuck-E, maybe next time.

Day 3: Bedtime
And here we are again, 1.5 hours early but everyone's tired and behaving atrociously. RF is laying on the hard, cold floor, crashing extra loud toys together. LJ is whining through the thumb she has glued to the inside of her mouth while she follows me around, pulling on my clothes. RF goes to cuddle with Daddy in our bed while I handle the terrible 2 yo. I get her into bed, sing a song, and off I go. Within 10 minutes she is up, crying, "But I awake Mommy I awake!" Well I think we are ALL aware of that one honey! Then comes the thrash and screech tantrum. I finally calm her down, get her back into bed, let her pick the color of the nightlight and tell her I will come back in 15 minutes to check in on her. I assume she is out cold, as I hear nothing. Maybe I should check. I'd hate to be counting feathers just yet!

And So It Begins...

2009-09-18T09:45:00.003-04:00

School. Or more accurately, preschool. Most people, when they go "back to school" shopping, buy backpacks, sneakers, pencils and notebooks. I went "back to school" shopping, (well, really just "to school shopping, since this is my first time, as a parent anyway), and I bought none of these things. I still managed to spend more than I think most people spend on their back to school shopping. I know. You're wondering how that is possible. Well, so am I. Only I also know the answer, but I still find it hard to believe. I bought 2 sets of Epi Pen Jrs, 2 boxes of single dose Benadryl, one inhaler, one bottle of antibiotics, one medicine bag, a one hour photo, corn starch, baking soda, food coloring, plastic baggies, and 2 allergen free snacks. Those last 5 items amount to a whopping ten bucks. Its the first half of the list that breaks the bank. Mind you, I am only paying for the copays here, not the whole full price of the meds. (Its not even all the meds we need, but we had extras of the others already in the house.)

Luckily, my newly designated schoolboy already had shoes and does not need a backpack, or I might just have collapsed from exhaustion! All this for 5 hours of school time each week! Its all worth it though, because he loves school and I love picking him up from school!

Thats another interesting thing. When you are home with little kids ALL THE TIME, you don't get the chance to miss them. Likewise, they never miss you. Whever Daddy comes home from work, there's a HUGE production. Children running to the door, screaming with excitement. I imagine this is how Santa must be greeted everywhere he goes. And Daddy gets that every single work day, (and anytime he goes anywhere else for that matter). If Mommy goes out, the kiddies are asleep. They don't even notice I've left, and are out cold when I come back. Dropping Ronan off at preschool is no big deal. He waves when I leave while he's running towards the toys. Thats it. But when I come to pick him up, he barrels out for me like a bull in Spain, so excited to tell me what he did and show me what he made and tell me that HE MISSED ME!!!!! Makes it all worthwile, because, in case you hadn't figured it out yet, the kind of preparation involved in sending any child, (but possibly this one in particular), to school for a whopping 2.5 hours is not worth the time you get without them in return. Its the child you get back after those short few hours that make it worth the fortune we are spending on it!

A Day In The Life Of...

2009-08-04T13:36:00.007-04:00

Most people in my life have no idea what I do all day long. Admittedly, before I stopped working I had no idea how jam packed and busy my stay-at-home life would be. I was under the silly impression that I would have time for things like scrap booking! (Full disclosure: I have 2 scrapbooks, both completely empty. In fact, I think they are still wrapped in plastic!) So, here's an idea of what I do everyday. Maybe if I write it down I might realize before I take on another project that I have NO TIME!

(You'll find rules in here that might seem absurd. I have my reasons. I might even tell you what they are!)

7am: Permission for children to go downstairs and start the day. While they are awake well before this time, Mommy and Daddy still like to pretend we might get a few more winks in. Morning routine begins, and lasts about 2 hours. Here's how it goes...

7-730am: Mommy listens to tales of dreams and nightmares while forcing everyone onto the potty, finding everyones lost loveys, yanking out the clothes we'll need for the day, and securing the living / dining area, (getting rid of any dangers that were left out overnight, usually cups and glasses).

7:30-8am: Make and eat breakfasts.

8-8:30am: Wipe down kids, table and floor. Wash dishes. Toss in a load of laundry. Dole out vitamins. Brush kids teeth. Administer morning medicines. Pack Lunches.

8:30-9am: Get children diapered and dressed. Get myself showered and ready to go.

9-9:30am: Referee disagreements while packing diaper and food bags. Find everyones shoes. Attempt to leave the house without bringing as many toys as little arms can carry.

9:30-10am: Make, eat and clean up snack. This incudes more wiping down of children, surfaces and dishes.

10-1130am: This is developmental/educational/errand running time, which can include playdates, the library, the park, the post office, the supermarket, the bank, etc. It normally cannot include more than 2 locations.

11:30-12noon: Stop wherever we are and have lunch. This is usually where I realize I forgot to pack food for myself, and try to get by on whatever leftovers the kids don't want.

12noon-1pm: Head home to prep for naptime. This means a lot of whining, some tantrums, more wiping down of kids and surfaces, forced potty time, diaper changes, throwing wet laundry into the dryer, reading stories and singing songs until children are in bed!

1pm-2pm: Please please no one bother me "Mommy Time", which usually includes bill paying and cloth diaper disposal, in addition to email, etc.

2pm-3pm: My chance to do the things I cannot seem to get done around the kids, like loading or unloading the dishwasher, (they make every attempt to break it when they are around), and making phone calls, (mostly Dr's appointments and lab results).

3-3:30pm: Little girl is definitely awake by now, Big boy possibly as well. Change a diaper. Make and clean up after snack while desperately trying to finish up whatever it was I started before they woke up.

3:30-4:30pm: Playtime for kids while Mommy tries to fold and put laundry away, finish up dishes, and whatever else was abandoned during the day for a boo boo.

4:30-5pm: Go through the mail while I start to think about how to feed everyone this evening. Usually also involves reading a few stories of setting up train tracks, etc.

5-6pm: Make dinner for family with food allergic children. This is complicated.

6:15-7pm: Eat dinner together, under threats of nutrient deprived children not being big and strong enough to play at Monkey Joe's house.

7pm-730pm: Clean up after dinner.

7:30-8pm: Bedtime routine, including more potty time and diapers, teeth brushing and more medicines, pjs, stories and songs.

8-8:30pm: Get everyone quietly into bed. Attempt to rationalize passing out myself.

8:30-the wee hours: Finish up anything that didn't get done. Clean kitchen and living / dining room. Attempt to make headway on home projects, or go to the grocery store, or wash diapers, or put garbage out, or whatever else needs to get done that day.

Once a week we are forced to cut naptime short and leave the house in the afternoon for another commitment. Otherwise, we don't generally leave the house in the afternoon, as the time between naptime and dinner is usually full of disasters. Then, of course, you have to factor in the "non everyday" stuff like Dr's appointments, which we have all too many of, and special visits to or from family and friends, sick days, emergencies, etc.

And there you have it. The backbone of every single day of my life. Of course, Daddy helps out when he's home and weekends are all messed up. If not for the hour at naptime that I have granted myself to check my email, I think I would loose my mind. Let's not think about what happens when children start outgrowing naptime! Of course, knowing all of that, I still wouldn't trade it for the world... except maybe the whining. I could definitely do without the whining!

Master Cleanse 2, Day 1 and 2

2009-07-07T08:03:00.004-04:00

I decided I would do the Master Cleanse quarterly, (so long as it doesn't run across a major holiday again), and it is time. I was much more nervous this time, maybe because of how well it went last time, (oh the pressure), but also I think because of all the junk we have been eating lately with all the visitors we've had.

Well it's not nearly as easy as it was last time. So far, on day 1 I felt pretty awful. I suspect its because of the combination of the SWF not really working right away, and the fact that I only drank half as much lemonade as the last time. I was hungry, but because I felt so crummy, I just couldn't be bothered to make more. Bad combination. So today, day 2, I thought I should double up on lemonades, which is how I got through it the last time. Well, you are supposed to wait at least 30 minutes between the SWF and your first drink, and I am not sure I did. Plus it was a double drink, and well... I didn't keep it down.

Come to think of it, I do feel much better now...

Best Mother's Day Ever

2009-05-12T13:20:00.001-04:00

This year was the best Mother's day ever for me. I could not have planned it better myself! It started with hubby requiring that I leave the house for 2 solid hours on Saturday night, without the kids! That meant that he had to put them to bed all by himself! I treated myself to a lovely meal, with a book of puzzles and NO ONE to ask me for anything, or put sticky hands in my hair, or insist on sitting on my lap while I attempt to shovel food into my mouth! Plus, it was a beautiful night for a long walk, which helped work off my meal.

Then, in the morning, not only did hubby leap out of bed to get our potty training son to the bathroom, (and successfully I might add), he also got everyone together in bed for my present. I didn't even have to get up!

Here is the inside of the card, complete with a poem, written by my husband.

For those of you who's eyes are not what they use to be, it reads as follows:

upon reading the blog of the sweet snarfysnee,
a mommy's day treat became clear to me,
not diamonds nor pearls for my craft-loving honey,
for use in rhinebeck an offering of money.
In exchange for this card there are currency notes,
to purchase some fluff from the sheep, pigs and goats.

Now, for those of you who might not be aware, (living under a fibre free stone I suppose?), Rhinebeck is the NY State Sheep and Wool Festival. Not only does this mean that I get some extra dosh for Rhinebeck, it also means I get to go WITHOUT complaint!!! Whooohooooo!!! I am an excited little fibre junkie!

Then, I got my present from the kiddies. Now, my husband has been learning all about the crunchy side of life, and while I may never get him to carpool, I have convinced him to recycle, (at least most of the time). He knows I have been making myself some market bags. He spent his Saturday night creating this masterpiece:

I love it love it love it!!! I have always wanted my kids hands or feet on something. I've hinted, poked and prodded for 3.5 years. Finally! We packed it full of snacks that day and headed to the park. I was so proud, and he could tell. To be honest, I dunno who was prouder, me or my son! And the most amazing part, there was not even the tiniest bit of paint on a child, or clothes, or the floor... couch... walls... I don't know how he did it!

To top it all off, I got to go to dinner and a movie with friends. A movie in an actual theater, that wasn't animated! I got to have a margarita at dinner. There was no food in my hair, no hand prints on my dress, (they look much better on my tote I think). And when I got home, he had just finished cleaning the house. What a fabulous day!

Spring Cleaning

2009-05-07T00:29:00.005-04:00

I'm a pack rat. There's no denying it. I come from a long line of pack rats on both sides of my family. One of my Grandfathers even made a living out of it. I have a great deal of difficulty throwing anything away. I just hate seeing useful things go to waste, and even garbage is useful. It's a problem... especially because I married my polar opposite in this respect. If there is even the slightest bit of doubt in my husband's mind... even the faintest hint that he might not be using something in the next ten minutes... into the trash it goes. His thought process, "I can always buy another one". What a waste, and by the way, we do NOT have a money tree out back. I suppose it works out, in that we have learned from each other, and we do meet in the middle, but its a struggle.

Unfortunately, we are well overdue for a toy clean out. My kids have far too many toys in our we-don't-have-a-family-room-house. We never really did a toy clean out at Christmastime, (which is when we usually do it), because we were all so sick. Leila's birthday is coming up, and I know we just need to get rid of some things. So I have been picking away at it, packing up one box per week of things to go to goodwill. I was pretty ruthless for me, (which is nothing compared to what my husband would do), but what I really needed was the chance to do it all at once. Tonight was that night.

Just before we put the kids to bed we gathered EVERY SINGLE TOY into the living room. It was piled high on the floor. What a mess. Then, after the kids went to bed, we went to work. 3 hours later we have a pile of things to go. Too bad its midnight and there's still stuff everywhere! I think we did pretty well. there were no fights. I was ruthless, he was compromising, and in the end, we have two garbage bags going to good will, and 2 garbage bags packed up for "redistribution", plus 3 large items. Here is what my dining room table looked like. It was the "get rid of" pile.

And there's my happy hubby, thumbs up for all the stuff I am willing to part with!

Now I just need to get all the pieces of all the toys back together and where they belong...

MD Sheep and Wool Festival

2009-05-03T21:01:00.005-04:00

I spent a lovely day, (and by lovely I mean a wet, muddy, rainy day full of fabulous friends and fibres and NO CROWDS), at the MD Sheep and Wool Festival today. What a haul! I spent everything I have saved for this, and now I must get to work using it all before Rhinebeck so I can do it all over again with more fabulous and fun friends and fibres!

How Many Steps?

2009-04-27T13:52:00.005-04:00

The Master Cleanse I completed has truly inspired me to take better care of myself, (which is entirely different than just thinking about it). From what I eat to where I park, I am trying to see opportunities for me to take care of me where before I only saw chores and exhaustion. I am tracking my water intake, and trying to get up to an ounce for every 2 pounds I weigh, (failing more days than not), but hopeful that the warm weather will help boost that one up. I'm also finding reasons to walk everyday. I'm supposed to take 12,000 steps a day, (and by supposed to I mean I know I read it somewhere, a long time ago in a land far away, and it still seems like a good idea), and back when I was working this was no problem. I never had a desk job. I used to walk to and from work, and I'd be on my feet most of the day, so 12,000 steps was a piece of cake! Now, 12,000 steps seems like a marathon. On days where I get some time away from the kidlets, I can do it, and I enjoy it. But on days when I have them from dawn til dawn, its just hard to squeeze it in. I've been walking to the library or the park, which gets me 3,000 round trip. Not enough. I went the long way home today, hoping I could bulk it up some before nap time, but boy was that rough. Take the sit n stand stroller, (22lbs), the 3 year old, (38 lbs), the almost 2 year old, (27 lbs), plus snacks, water, diapers and such, (easily 15 lbs), and then put us out on the sidewalk today, and you've got me pushing 100+ lbs in front of me under an oppressive 102 degree sun. Then of course there's the sidewalk that INSISTS on leaning to the side, dragging the stroller towards the street against my ever failing attempts to stay on said leaning sidewalk. Ugh. But I was motivated. I still when the long way home. I needed to know how many steps I could squeeze out of this ritual. Alas, I get home, and the pedometer had magically reset itself 112 steps ago! As my son would say... maybe we can try again tomorrow.

There are so many small ways for me to increase my steps when I don't have kids with me, (parking far away from my destination, an evening stroll through town, taking the stairs), but I need some suggestions for upping the ante when I do have the little buggers with me, which is most of the time! Right now, we are trying to take a walk everyday, but they don't last long enough for me to get even halfway. I am also always up and down the stairs all day long with arms full of laundry, toys, children, the potty, etc, so I have decided that I should always try for two trips where I would normally squeeze it into one. Other than that, I am out of ideas. Any suggestions?

I suppose I should also continue to wear the pedometer while inside the house, as right now I am not counting all those trips up and down the stairs...

Mission Completed : 10 Day Master Cleanse

2009-04-14T13:50:00.002-04:00

I do not reccomend planning a master cleanse so that any of your cleansing days fall on a holiday! My 10th day was Easter Sunday. I suppose it was good for me. I proved to myself that I can resist the blueberry pie I slaved over... but was that really necessary?

In any case, I did 10 days. My tounge was nearly clear and pink by the end, and I felt pretty good. I decided it was a good place to stop. It was not until the 10th day that I actually began to miss food. Plus, it had totally revitalized me for experimental cooking. I was burnt out with all the cooking that I have to do, but now I am looking foward to trying some new things.

I did not follow the instructions for breaking the cleanse explicitly. I listened to my body, and there have been no ill effects thus far. I cannot even begin to explain how much better I feel! I think spiritually, I could have gone longer. But I plan on doing this quarterly, and sometimes, when I jump in... I jump in a little too deep and burn out faster than I would like, so I decided my first cleanse would stop here. In three months, I'll be doing it again, and maybe I go 15 or 20. Only time will tell...

Master Cleanse, Day 7

2009-04-09T13:23:00.002-04:00

Ugh. Today is Day 7, and yes, it is the worst day thus far. It's still not as bad as everyone made it out to be, but I am starting to wonder if giving birth to two giants naturally, and having them both in cloth diapers, has somehow prepared me for the extra "ugh" factor of Day 7. Or maybe its my tolerance for discomfort and grossness that has allowed me to do these things. I dunno. I just know I feel not-so-good today, but not so bad that I wanna quit either. I know this cruddy, crappy, (punny), feeling means that the cleanse is working. Hopefully, this means the peace and serenity are on their way. Bring it! Bring me peace! PLEASE!!!

The Master Cleanse, Days 4-6

2009-04-08T14:59:00.004-04:00

Today is Day 6. I am definitely doing this right and I was definitely detoxing this morning. It wasn't all that bad, but I was uncomfortable for an hour or two. Day 7 is supposed to be a heavy detox effect day, so if I can manage that with two kids in diapers, then I think I might be able to go on indefinitely. I just want to make sure I get the diapers washed before Day 7 starts!

I could totally do without this renewed sense of smell. My sense of smell has always been pretty bad, except during pregnancy and breastfeeding. The further into weaning we get, the worse my sense of smell gets. I have always blamed the stem cells. Now I can blame the cleanse. Many people have complained about being out in public on this cleanse and smelling nothing but halitosis everywhere they went. I now understand how revolting this really is, as I am living it!

I am finding it absolutely freeing to not have to worry about what to cook or feed myself. I spend so much time focused on food for my allergy kids, and consequently end up shoving whatever is around down my own throat in between taking care of everyone and everything else. When I do try to focus on keeping my own diet healthy, it can be a source of stress. Its a matter of balancing the time it takes to prepare something worth eating vs keeping the children from mauling each other vs just eating whatever is fast and easy.

Why do we so often put taking care of ourselves last on the list? I have long admired people who have no problems putting themselves first. That has gotta move up on my to do list.

Anyway, I am still waiting patiently for the peace and serenity to come. I know I should not expect it yet, but I do so need some!

The Master Cleanse, Days 0-3

2009-04-05T20:20:00.004-04:00

I have been searching for a way to naturally detoxify my system for a while now. My health issues have been getting worse, and basically I just feel bad all of the time. So I did some research, and decided on a Master Cleanse. I was supposed to start the day after my birthday, but life got sticky, (as it so often does), and I just was not ready. I rescheduled my start date for this past Friday, and wouldn't you know it, I wake up sick on Thursday! But there never really is an ideal time to do something like this, so I plodded ahead anyway. I felt like I had a really bad sinus infection, which is typical of me this time of year, and I wondered if the cleanse might make it better or worse? Only one sure fire way to find out...

So Day 0, which is really just nighttime prep for Day 1, I drank the specified tea. I was nervous, and expecting the worst. On Day 1, I was still sick, and feared I would not tolerate drinking the required 32 ounce salt water flush, but I managed to keep it down. It did take me over a half an hour to finish it tho!

I decided to start this way because Days 2 and 3 are suppose to be 2 of the worst 3 days and this way, I would have people around to help if need be. My mother was here, and I am sure she thinks I am crazy, but, as she put it, when I decide to do something, there is no stopping me.

So I made it to Day 2, which required I take the kids to a birthday party pretty far away, in a park. I was feeling pretty good on Day 1, but nervous about Day 2 being to much to handle. Turns out, it was pretty good. I felt OK, a little hungry, but not starving. I was tired, and decided to take the kids home before I became to tired to drive, (they were way overdue for a nap, but I often stay anyway, if they are still having fun). All in all, not too bad.

Today was Day 3, and I am running out of lemons and limes! We had another birthday party today, and a park play date, but I had my hubby to help out, and managed to sneak off to the store for some citrus while the kids were bouncing their little hearts out with Daddy. I'm still a little hungry, but not starving.

So far, I think this is really not as bad as people make it out to be. Of course, I fear saying that might doom me to a torturous Day 7, (the other most difficult day). I've had some wild dreams and night sweats, but I often have that when I am sick, so its hard to know what the cause is. I do have nearly unbearably itchy skin today, but I am certain my skin is starting to detox. Its incredible really... to see it working.

My mother says I have a high tolerance for pain and discomfort. That might be true, but so far, this really isn't so awful. Having said that... lets see if I can make it through Day 7!

Recipe: Leek and Shrimp Scampi

2009-03-11T22:38:00.003-04:00

Ingredients:
1 1/2 pounds large shrimp (about 16 to 24)
1/3 cup butter
4 tablespoons minced garlic
1 leek, sliced in half, then thinly sliced crosswise and well rinsed
1/4 cup dry white wine
2 tablespoons lemon juice, fresh if possible
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
salt and pepper, to taste

Preparation:
Hull, clean and rinse shrimp and set aside. Heat butter in large skillet over medium heat. Cook garlic 1 - 2 minutes or until softened but not browned. Add leek; cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add shrimp, wine and lemon juice; cook until shrimp are pink and firm, about 1 to 2 minutes on each side. Do not overcook. Add chopped parsley and salt and pepper before serving. Garnish with lemon slices and parsley sprigs if desired.
Makes 8 first course servings or 4 main course servings when served over rice, (of course in my house, it serves two!)

Dairy and Wine Free Variation:
Just omit the wine altogether and substitute extra virgin olive oil for the butter.

Shellfish Free Variation:
Substitute leftover chicken for the shrimp.

In my house, I have 3 pans going - one for my husband and I, Dairy and Wine Free for Ronan, and Dairy, Wine and Shellfish Free for Leila. There were no leftovers!

What DO you feed him?

2009-03-01T04:06:00.003-05:00

I get this question a lot. Actually, I cannot remember a time where I have stated my son's known allergies and not received this question in return, in nearly that exact phrasing and influx.

My son is allergic to wheat, barley, dairy, egg, peanuts, tree nuts and a particular type of mold that grows in undisturbed mulches. I usually leave the last one out, as the list is long enough without having to explain why that last one matters. (It goes something like this: playground, mulched surfaces, post rainy days, little hands touch ground and mouth = reactions). My son doesn't have small reactions to anything. They are more like big bad explosions, and differ depending on the specific offending item.

The learning curve in food allergy is huge. I was a bumbling idiot on this subject before I had my son, and I now know all too much about the matter, which means I also don't know enough yet. No one does. We have more questions than answers when it comes to food allergy.

I was aware that we were at risk, as my husband had allergies as a child, so I did what they recommend you do. I breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months before introducing solids. I nursed him until he weaned himself. I made all his food from scratch. I introduced one new food a week. I steered clear of the top 8 allergens for the first year, as well as other foods that can cause problems for those under two, (berries, corn, etc). Blah blah blah. Did it make a difference? I don't know. Could it be worse? Well, as my grandfather would say, it could always be worse.
Once he turned one year old, I fed him one teaspoonful of plain white yogurt. (Yogurt is supposed to be easier to digest than straight up cow juice.) What followed cannot be described accurately with mere text. In a nutshell, he vomited for nine hours, and we paid an exorbitant co-pay for a visit to the ER, where they finally decided he was milk allergic. I say finally because at first, they accused me of feeding him strawberry yogurt. Plain yogurt, I say. No berries, I say. Single ingredient: milk, I say. They didn't seem to want to believe me, but eventually they realized I wasn't a liar, or an idiot. Or maybe they just didn't care. Or got bored. Who knows.

Well then my mind snapped back to a day when my son was about 7 months old, and reacted to the heel of the bread. It's an Italian tradition to give a baby the heel the the bread when teething. Its supposed to be good luck. When an Italian family member gave him the heel of the bread, it was in his mouth before I could protest. I figured, we'll watch and we'll see. Projectile vomiting and hives ensued, but there was a delay to this reaction. A delay that was long enough to keep this allergy novice from really putting it together. "Could have been the bread" I thought. But I couldn't really know which ingredient in the bread was the problem. Could also be viral. I dunno. Hives continued for the next day, and then he was fine.

So here we are, almost 3 years from that day, and the list has continued to grow. I am hopeful it will shrink. I say hopeful, but I am also realistic. Many times, I have been told, "test scores look good, might have grown out of X". Alas, the test scores were not good enough. At this point, we have failed two challenges for two different foods, but that is a story for another day. For right now, I choose to remain hopeful, and keep my little boy on his caveman diet.

A Knitting Disaster

2009-03-01T03:51:00.005-05:00

I toiled and I strived and I lost a lot of sleep to finish a scarf for myself before our big trip to England. And I loved it! I wore it nearly everyday, with pride, for the two weeks our trip was supposed to last. Then, people started turning up sick, flights were cancelled, and being that I was well, I was stuck cleaning up the vomit and catching up with the laundry. Not the kind of vacation extension I had in mind. Meanwhile, I was furiously trying to finish the baby sweater gifts I neglected while finishing my own beloved scarf. These baby sweaters were gifts for the babies we were visiting, and I was determined to finish them before I left. When it came time to wash them, the day before our rescheduled flight, I mistakenly tossed my beloved scarf in with them. Now, I had washed my scarf in my own machine, cold and delicate, and it came out fine. I hadn't taken into account that this washing machine, a front loader, was in the kitchen, where my children had access to it and all its dials and buttons. Well, my scarf is now a fairly thick, felted belt, with zero stitch definition. I cannot be sure if it was the increased agitation in the machine, or a inability to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit in my sleep deprived, over worked stupor, or that my daughter had potentially changed the settings on the machine, but it doesn't matter. My scarf is not more. I have reordered the yarn. I will remake the scarf, and a hat and gloves to match. It will be even better, and just as gorgeous, and all mine... when I get to it. In the meantime, I have decided to cut the thick, felted belt into squares, and use them as coasters. Not a total loss I suppose.

PS: The baby sweaters were cotton, and survived the dreaded felting machine beautifully.

A Mouse In My House

2008-07-28T02:01:00.008-04:00

We have an uninvited house guest. We have quite a few of them actually, and I normally enjoy co-existing, but not when my guest is using my utensil drawer as a bathroom! It started in June, 2008. I reach into the drawer half asleep for a spoon for my son's breakfast, and I barely notice them... little mouse poos. Never had mice before, but then again, I have also never lived without a cat before. I'm not a big dramatic reacter to these things. I don't really mind sharing my space with critters. Most of them are either helpful or stay out of my way, and that's fine. But it didn't take me long to become aggravated with the extra cleaning my little furry friend was causing. Those who know me know that cleaning just isn't my thing. I have learned over the years to sort of meet my neat freak husband halfway, (OK to me it feels like three/quarters), but I take no pride or joy in cleanliness. I know, its very unmotherly of me. I just don't care.

But even before I became aggravated with the extra cleaning... something else joined the party. Yes, my little furry friend came with his or her own set of unwanted visitors. I am referring to the fleas that leaped from poor fuzzy mousie to my couch, and then nipped at my ankles for three days. Now fleas I can recognize. Its been a while since I've had a cat, but one never really forgets what that battle is like. Luckily, there was nothing really hairy enough to keep them here, but it added to the issue.

My point really, is that my furry little visitor has taught me some unexpected things. The most striking is that, while I recognize that my husband and I do not often agree on what I think are some pretty important issues, I hadn't realized how fundamentally differently we view life in general... that is, until now. When I finally came to the conclusion that I must find my little friend a new home, I went searching for some catch and release type contraptions, and loaded one each with pumpkin seed butter and soy nut butter, (we don't have peanut butter in the house and I wasn't sure what my little mousie might like best). I'm also not really sure how many mice there are. Anyway, my husband tripped them, not knowing what they were, so I showed him. He asked why I didn't just get the old fashioned snappy trappy kind of thing, to which I responded, "Well I'm not going to kill them just for being mice!" This thought had never occurred to him, and for the first time in a long time he was quiet... thoughtful. I didn't understand how differently we thought about life, and the world, until this moment. He had never thought of it that way, and I had never thought of it any other way. Its kind of presumptuous and cruel of me to kill the little guy just for following his instincts and looking out for himself. I would just prefer she didn't poo in my utensil drawer, so I will find her someplace else to live. My husband, on the other hand, views this much more territorially. My house. My food. Grunt! Hunt! Kill! I think I got through to him, and I think I caught a mouse tonight, so I better get on to finding that perfect little rodent sanctuary...

Update: 9 months later, I have relocated 14 furry little friends to a farm a good distance away, and sealed two holes in the basement. I hope I am finished, but there are a lot of cracks in this 108 year old house. It may go on forever... and ever... and ever...

PS: Mice do not seem to care whether they eat pumpkin seed butter or soy nut butter, so I now offer them the cheap stuff.

Poo-Mergency ala Amusement Park

2008-06-23T01:27:00.005-04:00

Some people call it crazy. Some might say... "adventurous", (in an attempt to avoid any offense). I think crazy is probably right on the money, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am referring to our big trip to Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom this weekend. Now I'll remind you, my children are 12 months and 2.5 years. What could possibly posses a person two take two diaper-clad-but-also-able-to-run-opposite-directions children to such a place? How about a spouses company sponsored event, complete with free tickets, free parking, and the all important free food, (at least 5 hours worth anyway)?

Of course, I had my husband to help me, complicated by the shadow of a possibility that I might loose my cool with my children, (or my husband, as is often the case), in front of EVERYONE he works with and then some. All in all, I would do it again in a heartbeat, although I will likely have to wait until next year.

This trip has shown me a lot of wonderful things, and I think I really needed to see them. Most important to me was seeing my children enjoy themselves. The awe and amazement that this kind of experience inspires really makes all the hassle seem totally insignificant. I'm mostly referring to the cloud I always feel just over my shoulder because of some pretty significant food allergies that we just can't seem to shake. I came prepared with a wide variety of food, all packed up and preserved, ready to fight for my son's right to eat with everyone else should we be searched on the way in. In the end, there was no battle over the eats. I was even brave enough to offer him some chicken that I had not cooked myself, and all went well. I must say, I was really impressed with the kind of information they listed on their website about foods and possible contaminations.

Another important lesson I learned this weekend was one of my own ability to handle whatever is blown my way. We had a little poo emergency during our second trip to the wave pool. In the aftermath, I realized, I can probably handle anything. It went a little something like this...

In an attempt to save my daughter's skin and the earth a few tons of ever-present garbage, I have converted my children to cloth and earth friendly gdiapers. This was our first time out and about in a place like this, all day long, and I came prepared. I had my new wetbag, which I just LOVE, to contain the messies. I had inserts and wipies and spare covers and liners and nondisposable swim diapers and all kinds of helpful things at my disposal. Then I found myself listening to my son beg me to take him back to the wave pool in my good ear, while watching my husband chat away to some important work people, with my daughter sleeping peacefully in the stroller. What a great chance for me to have some fun with RF, just the two of us. So off we go. No shoes. No towels. None of that helpful equipment. Just me and my son, wearing his life vest, his swim diaper, his bathing suit and his way-too-big-but-all-we-could-find-UV-protecting-swim-shirt. Oh what a joy to flop around in the wave pool playing ring around the rosie with a two year old, not a care in the world! We all fell down... SPLAT! We all jump up... SPLASH! So many people interrupting to tell me how cute he is, and I see it too. Then I felt it. A big wet hug, with a big lump in the diaper. Hmmmmm... No wipies. No dipies. No help.

It's almost akin to a flight or fight response. I've got no idea how many of my husbands work people abound, but I do know they can recognize us. So off we toddle to find a potty room, in search of some paper towels. It turns out, amusement parks tend towards the blow your hands dry with hot air type of facility. So off we toddle, at first, to see if we can find Daddy and our gear. Daddy's probably about a 10 minute toddle away, which I quickly realize is an ETERNITY when your two year old son has a waterfall of smelly brown stuff streaming down the backs of his legs. Not too surprising after a rousing game of ring around the rosie. Panicking inside, but scanning for MacGuyver like options, we hurriedly toddle over to the dipping dots stand and ask, politely but not at all hiding the panic from my voice, for paper towels. Mrs Dipping Dots has definitely potty trained someone in her life, because she was not slow or shy about handing me a wad of paper. One stealthy wipe of my sons legs later, off we toddle back to the potty room. The line is, of course, around the corner. "Coming through, toddler can't hold it!" and I muscled my way through, found a little shower, and went to work.

At this point, RF is scared. Its dark, its wet, and he's never had a shower in his life. He starts crying, and I do my best to comfort him without announcing to the long line of people hanging around that I am washing the poo off my child. I get his diaper off easily, because it has these great little snaps, and it falls out. Hysteria ensued. I realize he thinks a part of his body has fallen away. He's hysterical, screaming "Mommy what was THAT?!?!?!" and in his attempt the get away from it all, he stepped smack in it. Lovely. Now I turn to the shower. It has a manual push button that you have to hold in in order to get misted by what little water comes out. Great. I'm all for water conservation, but I would have given my hair for a nice healthy hands free stream. Imagine, if you will, me balancing my extra large sized two year old, all nearly 40 pounds of him kicking and clutching, upside down on my right shoulder so that I could hold the stupid on button in and then try to wipe with my button holding hand before the mist cut off, and not drop RF on his head. Enough said there. Once we and our suits were clean, and we toddled out into the sunlight, I had to take my son aside to talk to him about what was frightening him. Once he learned that it was his poopies and that it was SUPPOSED to fall out and splat onto the ground in this particular situation, he was fine, and we were back in the wave pool, ringing and rosying our hearts out, confident that another poopie was at least another hour away.

If a baby poops under the table, and you can't see it, does it make a smell?

2008-04-26T11:28:00.007-04:00

(WARNING: The following post is a discussion of baby poo)

Yes. Yes yes YES! It most definitely smells. Someone please explain to me why oh why is it that as soon as I get that little girl's diaper off for a little let's-air-out-that-rashy-raw-butt time that she behaves as though she's "just going to crawl around, mom. No need to watch me. Just getting some air while I cut my teeth on this here rattle thingy..." Well that's not what she was doing at all! No no no... she waits until my attention is diverted and then clandestinely plops one out under the dining room table!!! Well I could smell it, but finding it was a bit more difficult.

In fact, it was mostly amusing. But that was just the beginning. Without getting too graphic lets just say that since then, she has made a habit of leaving puddles all over the place, and I do not want to get into what happens when she decides to sit on and then crawl through her messies.

My son never had such a sensitive bum at this stage of the game, so I never had this issue. Of course, he had his own brand of ickies. I got really good at wiping breastfed-baby-liquid-poo out of the crevasses of his little armpits. That boy could shoot poo faster than a speeding commuter, clear across the room! Must have been all that cool air...

I dunno. I think it's probably best to make sure that you are not a Poo-A-Phobe before having kids

What do you want out of life? Eco-Friendly-Ness

2008-04-20T17:02:00.011-04:00

Late last year, I came across an exercise often performed by the "highly successful" and it seemed like a good idea to go ahead and do it myself. Its a handy little list, worked in reverse chronology, to help you get to the end you seek. So I started with 3 things that I wanted out of life before I die. (Of course, my list assumes I will live a nice long and healthy life, and I am pretty sure I am not that lucky, but I'll go with it, just in case.) Then I repeated it for different time points. It helps break down major life goals into smaller, more manageable pieces. For me, it also helped me delineate what was most important to me, rather than those things I am working towards because it is most important to someone else.

One of the items on my list was to improve my family's "green" factor. I have always been more crunchy than people would think, and this is a part of my life that has fallen to the wayside during all the upheaval of the past few years, (more on THAT some other day). I finally decided to go for it. Here's how I have begun.

Diapering:
I have two kids in diapers. We were spending about 3 dollars a day on disposables. Then there's the wipes. And the fact that those poopy bombs will be festering away on this planet for generations to come. It bothers me, but I am also very much "have babies will travel". We do not spend much time just sitting around. I needed an alternative to plastics, but was not prepared to go fully cloth, (although sometimes I still dream about this very idea. I will admit, in my dreams, no one ever poops on the floor and then crawls through it before I can get to them. No one ever poops in public as a matter of fact, among other totally unrealistic notions.) Anyway, I stumbled across a HYBRID diaper. I just LOVE this concept. No one was ready for the electric car, but we have accepted hybrids into our driveways, why not do the same for our babies bottoms? They are called g-Diapers, ( http://www.gdiapers.com/ ), and not only are they biodegradable and compostable, (maybe not so much the poopy ones), but you can FLUSH then down the toilet. Now that's where the poop belongs! I converted both the little stinkers and I am just so pleased. Now, I am still experimenting with cloth diapering and considering EC'ing, (not quite ready to try that one, what with my poop all day long babies), but I just love having this option up and running in my house. Its just so easy, and PORTABLE, and environmentally friendly. I am pleased as punch, to use an expression I don't really understand at all. Besides all of that, the diapers are adorable, and my son just LOVES his orange diaper, (and he reminds me of that every day). And cost-wise, once you have all the reusable bits, the "flushie", (that's the part that you toss), is not really anymore expensive than your regular, brand name disposable diaper. Of course, we were using no-name-buy-one-get-one-free diapers, but the difference in cost is minimal compared to the lesson I am teaching my children. Or at least that's how it works inside my head.